Wedding Planning

Written by Suzi on December 18, 2012

Prior to the wedding, many brides before me warned that the day would just fly by. I think the fear of not remembering my wedding day made me more aware of living in the moment. I wanted to see what was happening around me and realize what it all meant. I also wanted to remember the process of wedding planning also. I hope it will give men insight of what the woman is going through, and women/soon-to-be brides some tips on what to expect.

Planning:

  • I would say the hardest part about planning is trying to meet everybody’s expectation of what your wedding should be like. You want to please everybody. You want your mom’s approval- especially with the wedding dress because it’s also a mother-daughter experience. You want your mother-in-law’s approval because you want to start the relationship off right- don’t want to step on any landmines too early. You want your maid of honor’s approval because she’s your only voice of reason when everything around you is feeling like the world is out of control. In times of tension, I remembered feeling that if my maid of honor was good with my decisions, then everything else was good. Now I know why the wedding industry always says, “It’s whatever the bride wants.” I think in the media, that phrase gives the bride permission to be bridezilla, but really, sometimes it was a relieve to hear those words because a lot of times, I was being pulled in so many directions by so many people.

  • This point is almost along the same lines, but the most frustrating part of planning was being the middle-man. In a wedding, there are so many people involved that it’s hard getting everybody on the same page. I remember the process of answering one person’s question was dependent on another person’s answer, and that person probably didn’t respond for a long time. For example, when contacting the salon to set up a hair and makeup appointment for the wedding day, I had to email my photographer about the wedding schedule, and apparently all the emails to my photographer went to his junk mail so he didn’t reply until 2-3 weeks later. Although this wasn’t something my photographer was aware of, it made me anxious. When I had to set up a time to take engagement pictures, I couldn’t pick a date or location until David bought his plane ticket. I couldn’t pick a location on the wedding day until the locations answered my calls. I remember it took Philbrook Museum didn’t call me back until a week later. I just wanted to get things done, but sometimes I had to wait. The waiting process became annoying because all the while, there are other people asking you questions that you can’t answer. I think it was in these moments where declared that I officially wanted to give up on wedding planning.

  • I wanted my wedding to be a DIY wedding. I loved handmade weddings. I loved writing down the list of things I wanted to make. I did find great joy in being able to sit down for hours at a time and just create. I was an escape for me. The only thing I wish I would have known was that my vision for the wedding was going to change as I continued to plan. As things started to come together, sometimes I realized my old ideas no longer worked or I had an even better idea. Sadly, I made the mistake of buying my supplies in advance and later changed my mind. I couldn’t return them because it was already over 30 days of purchase (Hobby Lobby has a 30 day policy). So I ended up with over $300 worth of arts and crafts supplies that I never used.

  • I think it was really helpful for me to make a list of the things I cared about purchasing and the things that I could care less for. It made me focus on the things that did and didn’t matter when things got consuming. For example, the big things for me were photography, ceremony and reception decorations. The things that I didn’t care much for/ wasn’t going to spend countless hours on were stationary, fonts, transportation (like renting a limo), the rehearsal dinner food, and the music (I trusted David with it). Knowing these things saved a lot of time!

  • Planning was really hard while I was in school! I did half the planning during my last semester at OU. It was pretty bad because I had an intense group project I had to commit to at any time of day, but I also had to go home every weekend to find a venue! It definitely caused a lot of stress. Most of the stress came from letting down my group members though. After I found a venue, I just committed to school because I wanted to finish strong.  I believe I didn’t do any wedding planning for a month and a half.

  • I think it’s important thing was to be flexible. Don’t have a set image of what your wedding will look like because it will change. This could also trigger bridezilla mode.

  • Lastly, the most important thing I believe brides-to-be should keep fresh in their minds, is the fact that at the end of the day, you’re going to married. It doesn’t matter if everything is out of place, or if the venue burns down. The only thing that has to go right, is getting married! It wouldn’t be a wedding if the groom wasn’t there!